The Offer
4 votes, average: 2.75 out of 54 votes, average: 2.75 out of 54 votes, average: 2.75 out of 54 votes, average: 2.75 out of 54 votes, average: 2.75 out of 5    2.8/5
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John Carrier was looking at the newspaper on morning. Being fired from his previous job he searched for a new one. He finally struck on an interesting job offer in a new business. He immediately signed up and the next day he went to his workplace.

John Carrier was a cocky man, he thought that he could do thing by himself. He lived in the ghetto when he was younger and got involved in drug dealing and robbing. He had no parents. This trait is what lead him to be fired from many jobs. John was never scared, he thought that even Satan could not scare him. He was a drug addict and lived in a small apartment in the city.

As he was being driven to his workplace, he was worried. The place looked sinister, in the middle of a dark forest. He went into the sinister building. There waiting was a man looking miserable wearing a black suit in a chair. But as soon as he saw John he jumped and acted the opposite he was like a second ago. “Welcome, welcome!” The man said. “I’m Mr. Live” He exclaimed. “Ha!” John told Mr. Live, he didn’t care, John just wanted money. Mr Live acted like he didn’t hear what John just said. He immediately told John, “Here’s your workplace”.

It looked comfortable, with a little wooden desk with a comfortable leather chair. John knew he was going to love his new job than his last one. His co-workers were all very cheerful and happy, it all seemed that they could all be acting! He felt so happy around these strangers, he was never happy around people.

But week by week he felt depressed and sad. But it all ended on one week, one day.

He arrived at work one day. Mr. Live was there as usual, but today he was worried, scared, troubled. John was too depressed to ask him. But while doing his usual thing at work. Mr. Live came in. “Come with me.” He said boldly. “Why? I ain’t coming” John asked. “Now.” Mr. Live said with no emotion. John went off with Mr. Live. Mr. Live surprised John and hit him with a club.

John woke up in a dark room, lit only by torches, held down by rope on a form similar to a triangle. Mr. Live came in. “It is time.” He said. “What?” John shouted. All his co workers came in, wearing white masks with unemotional faces. “Bring The Deid.” He said. The co workers came back with a lady old enough it couldn’t be real, she looked as if she was rotten.

“Want to know the truth John?” Mr. Live asked. “Say Deid and my name backwards.” He asked John. John was puzzled. He was shocked. This wasn’t a workplace. This was a satanic cult! “Now, we must start.” Mr. Live said.

Deid closed her eyes and started chanting words, words of another language, she lifted a necklace of an upside down cross. She started to go faster, faster, faster. She opened her eyes and she had no pupils and her voice was changed to having a low pitch. Wind started to blow violently. John was scared, scared for the first time of his sad life.

Suddenly, fire surrounded John, and rotten hands burst out of the ground. The screams of the damned were echoing from Hell itself. The hands were pulling him down into the ground, untying the rope and tugging him. John screamed in fear and tried to break loose.

Alas, he could not break free and the hands pulled him down to Hell, where he rightfully belonged.

Weeks later, one of John’s close friends called the police. They went to the place of his last job, but when they went there, nothing was to be found. Mr. Live, The Deid, his co-workers and the office. Nothing.

2 Responses so far.

  1. Decent little read. If you practice writing everyday you’ll become much better. try to develop character a little bit more, at the end you said “the hands pulled him down to hell where he belonged,” though I dont really know why he belongs there. overall pretty good, keep it up!

  2. Johnny.Tiggs says:

    Hey Cullum, have you read AT THE BUREAU written by Steve Rasnic Tem? It is about the spookiest story ever written, that is that I’ve ever read, about an on-the-job experience. Keep writing, keep rewriting. Good luck? :)

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