The Controversy Of The Classmates

True Stories | Apr 14, 2015 | 22 min read
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True Stories

The Controversy Of The Classmates

Nickolaus A. Pacione
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"Life is full of death; the steps of the living cannot press the earth without disturbing the ashes of the dead - we walk upon our ancestors - the globe itself is one vast churchyard."

--- Charles Maturin



The controversies that some of the classmates I went to school with – at Glenbard East, some went to Marquardt Middle School, I don't even want to admit they did this. But I know if I am going to tell this story – I need to name names in this one because someone needs to hold them accountable.
     Daniel Mowrer finally owned up to snubbing my roster, and apologized fully for my one author as he snubbed him as he had months to live. Who is this author that the classmates snubbed. If you read about Andrew Ian Dodge of The Hufftington Post they might ask about his fiction writing career I am one of his publishers but I am a far-off friend from when we joined AuthorsDen.com. I don't know if I can face Hellen Goryl and Mandy Raines after snubbing my first namesake roster; as the fact being one of the classmates is a closing member of Issue 10.
     Were they capable of doing this as teenagers is the question I ask; the answer being is I truly don't know. Some of us went to high school in scandal scarred Lombard, Illinois, as I wrote of this in the five year memoir An Eye In Shadows then on one of my blogs I speak more in length about Lombard, Illinois. I gave Mandy Raines a chance to become a writer but she had used that chance as her toilet – the excuse she gave, "I have enough in my life right now."
     What the fuck does she have in her life that's so important to snub someone who passed away a few months later – I would like to ask that one because she must have Peter Popoff on speed dial. I had invited classmates to contribute their testimony or journal to an anthology I am far from done with; or in the home stretch at this point and no plans to cancel an anthology like this.
look in my eyes and make your fucking excuses because you are an excuse.     The fact I am naming names and you can look them up on Classmates.com to track down their identities if you want to ask questions to them you can – the fact Mowrer came around when I showed him Andrew Ian Dodge's obituary. He not only snubbed him but snubbed my protégés and local friend who is quite high profile; a few of my personal friends in Chicago had been featured on WGN TV during either The Morning or Mid-Day News.
     "If there is anything you need with help with in the recent years after seeing what you showed me; please let me know," were Mowrer's words as he was one of the organizers of the 20 year reunion. The fucked up thing with this is that one of the organizers of the 20 year reunion seen me announce that I am Lake Fossil Press for the first time.
     What my classmates ignored when I pointed out in An Eye In Shadows as this became a historic document of an era – the thing that happened was a teacher got in trouble for fucking a female student, former P. E. Teacher, Richard W. Kruse, now of Elmhurst, Illinois, who was a wrestling coach at Elmhurst College.
     I don't know how serious is he about that but I am holding him to that because he owes that to my roster after snubbing people he didn't give a chance – my roster and modern era friends.
     I want to ask how can classmates who treated me like shit in school can even do that to my roster; the thing that doesn't ring right with me as I am working on a new fictionalized work based upon one of them.
     The fact that I am fighting to have my wordpress.com blog fully functional again as some cyberbullies had crippled posting because I had identified them as such – where on classmate. Sherri Hibbett (her maiden name) became friends with the plagiarist who stole Stygian Dealer.
     I don't understand why she would become friends with plagiarists or my professional rivals as she became friends with two who were responsible with having me thrown from the HWA and fabricated the lie about me having access to the HWA directory when I had no realistic knowledge of this.
     I haven't been back to the area in a long time – as in Lombard itself, since 2007 – it will be almost eight years since I have returned to Lombard, but Glen Ellyn, the most recent era I was back was in 2011. As one of the classmates doesn't pay attention to my history within that area – it's where my first lone wolf ghost hunt took place.
     I have to ask some of them when on camera when doing a video blog on YouTube.com, "How can you even think of snubbing someone who was dying or had months to live? That doesn't ring well with me at all that on would do something like that – don't you realize that you were all tied together by something as scandal scarred as what happened in 1993?"
     There is a dark movie in this somewhere – I know there is a story idea for others lingering around because something that Andy pointed out, half of the classmates remained in the area and haven't changed worth a shit since then.
     The one who changed I think was me since it was years removed from living in the area, I sometimes think Glendale Heights, Illinois, is home to me but there are times I still feel like the fucking stranger in my own hometown. Especially to the long timers who one of them who was my step-father's age called me out of name, by my short name with a "y" at the end.
     As my blog pointed out it's a matter of perspectives but the speculations and realizations become the thing where they seek out the monsters they will end up becoming one in the end.
     When one looks around and researched the old yearbooks; as I wrote An Eye In Shadows – the question will be asked where can one find the sources on everything in the book? Easy go Google Chicago Tribune Archives as they made these old articles public – as I was reading through them it took me right back to when they unfolded. The realizations as the one classmates spouts, "nothing in common."
     I reminded her we have a scandal scarred high school, a classmate who killed a cab driver and downtown without a downtown in common – as she was immortalized in Legend Keeper. When approaching the subject of self-hatred and abhorrence as they were born inside the pages of a meta-fictional horror novella masterwork for me.
     As this subject matter comes to mind it doesn't come too far off from a Castle Rock that's real and densely populated where it's 5.5 x 5.7 square miles (you can take a mt. bike across the area.)
     Does this sound like a Twilight Zone Episode yet? As I was watching The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street with some of the longtimers on the page.
screen cap of Amy Schaper's senior photo; and if you want to raise some questions if you're at East that's why it's there. If you see her in the facebook.com school group ask some very dark poignant questions.      She noticed that I used the term "small town shitheads" to word those who are from Craley, Pennsylvania, or an insult that works stronger in Pennsylvania that described those who were college age; when they graduated high school or dropped out of high school. H. P. Lovecraft would be greatly offended by this one – "townie," is a strong insult for those who never left the area for some reason.
     They might throw that one at me about being in "hickville" I was never born in "Hickville" so I don't like being considered being from there now shall we. Let's see the current climate of the classmates where they are now – Hellen Goryl lived in an area where I spent a lot of time in either to go donate platelets, was hospitalized, or went for dinner around there. That area was Oak Lawn, Hickory Hills, and Palos Park, Illinois when I was living in Justice – my home for a year shared Oak Lawn and Burbank, Illinois, zip code.
     She of all people with the area she lives should know not the snub those who are dead or dying because they might end up coming into her home as a ghost. So if someone is going to pass a summons on me about my information of them.
     I research their linkedin accounts and what not so some are seen as public figures if they have as many followers as me on my blogs or twitter.
     Where I seen jokers get my twitter account suspended and my wordpress.com locked out – it's a nightmare thinking have these stalkers consulted with classmates saying how I was using twitter.com as a harassment tool.
     Where they have Robert L. Baupder claiming I was going after someone's SSN and twisting around my words – twisting the truth; it's like what you see in the movie The Net. I swear it is very close to this.
     My pinterest started as a private account they turned it into a business when I was posting books from the roster and alumni. But the thing with classmates – few blocked my account when it became a business account; something I just don't understand where this became a sequel to The Net.
     That movie was almost prophetic the way we see things as that came out 20 years ago – I mention this movie in the book not by name but everyone will know the movie I was mentioning was The Net.
     The horror story with chatrooms as this plays out – why you avoid classmates in chat rooms or message boards is because when your rivals find them it's a matter of what they can get out of them.
     That's why I warned classmates not to get in touch with Brian Keene or Mary Sangiovanni because they've been trying to do just that. Where they would put your friends and those around you in danger – when this happens more often than you think in the publishing industry; as the classmates know nothing about this thinking it's innocent to get in touch with my rivals in the business. The Net is a dark tale of Identity Theft and I think I can write the sequel to that because I saw that when I was in college when it made it to cable – some may not realize how important of a film that is.
     "Have you jokers ever seen The Net?" I would ask as I would gulp down a cup of coffee then chase it with a longneck.
     My career was born from this but some others it's a question what their world was like when Social Networking was not invented; there are times when I wish Twitter was never invented because it ruins people who are trying to make an honest dollar. Because one lie and eventually becoming one particular tweet can destroy anyone who gets out there – the twitter behind Gabriel Zeroes might been more responsible for freezing my accounts when I did nothing to him originally.
     Someone's identity – drivers license, Social Security Number, and all that – gone in a split second; I guess the classmates are blind to something like this because this happened to one of my e-mail accounts at age 21. The whole thing is incomprehensible in the early 1990s – but the whole thing where you can't even trust your classmates because something that might happen that will have you looking over your shoulder in the very areas you called home.
     "I want to speak with you somewhere that you might find comfortable with my friend," the one classmate e-mails. I suggest wait until I have an event so I can speak with her at the venue because in Joliet and Chicago I am a local public figure; this was a scandal that she caused and invaded my privacy as someone created a domain based on one of my imprints. Using my family's residence as the address of the venue no less – I am guessing the classmate had the information and gave it them.
     That's something Hibbett pulled invading my privacy; so that's why I chased her off Classmates.com knowing this because I am very protective of my family as they're not public figures – the immediate family aren't anyway. The extended family on the other hand, will deal with the public so that's why I am more comfortable when I go to events with the extended family -- some been active in public life longer than me.
     "You're just make-believe so it's not against the law to go after your assets," Brian Keene claims; as I am guessing he had convinced the classmates this as I am guessing it was his idea to badmouth my deceased members. The classmates will say I am not though but the thing with some of them their personalities are quite plastic as the credit cards they abuse (see Robert Champion as he changed his name on Linkedin.com.)
     I am sure the twitter thought police will see that; as I guess they didn't like the comment about them being thought police either – well it's true; and when former classmates are bitching about blogs rigged to my tweets that's bound to start some controversy. Well I guess twatter has a bug up their ass about something I said that had the social justice weasels making me start from ground zero; this is the United States – land of the free and First Amendment only applies to the Liberal.
     The controversy of classmates within their adult years – where some treat me and members of the roster like they are persona non grata; my guys did nothing to them and they treat them with hatred. The fact that twitter.com didn't like the truth being told they froze npacione – fuck them because they kept the fake accounts up there though; when I am trying to fight to get everything in order.
     Where there is a fabrication going around VampireFreaks.com according to the plagiarist how I went after everyone's SSN; I am going to go in the open about this – I would never do that. As Matt Fanalle of Caustic made things right with me and apologized – I know if Matt was able to do that; he might be able to convince the staff that I am not a criminal by a long shot.
     It's fucked up how some classmates remained assholes over the years – townie syndrome or a syndrome where the place they never claimed to be originally from they call their lifelong home. Joliet – well it's my adoptive hometown because I saw my creative powers develop in more than one area here over the years.
     What those who don't understand who give me shit on places like twitter.com or facebook.com. I am kind of like a janitor who picks up your crumbled notes or sketches as in I am looking at your real websites – looking for your blogs to see what I can learn about you.
     The fact that the plagiarist had been feeding lies to those of my stomping grounds; the question is – how far did this reach to my classmates who got a hold of him or called him a friend. The fact is being of which – I don't know if the lies go as far as where I do get my coffee in Joliet or in Chicago where I go for a beer. If you're the one who takes my $10.00 for the diner tab you should be the one who should think about those who go fabricating lies about me.
     One lie or one tweet can destroy everything as the classmates some of them went out of their way to fuck up my world. If one doesn't realize something is that scandal scarred; wouldn't they examine this further to think about how to prevent scandal or handle damage control? As I had walked around where Stephen Glass called home for an afternoon a day before my grandmother passed away in 2012; I didn't realize that was where the Fabulist lived when he was in high school.
     Where Hibbett became friends with my ex-fiancée/the mother of my son – I was going, "fuck she can really screw me over in Glendale Heights now! I got to do damage control and fast," so I went researching some about her new home and area.
     She's a fucking food blogger! The whole thing being of terms as I had researched each classmate who was involved with the scandal -- possible an adult era scandal leading into the 20 year reunion. How would some like to screw up something that happened in a man's twenties which is the moment they wish they could relive in their teens?
     Adult controversy which pales what they did as teenagers in terms of their infamy defining them. What you see within them in those years when you're in your thirties or early twenties when you know they will piss you off as adult thinking about that as a teenager – if they were me they might wonder why they might get an ice stare or evil eye.
     The evil eye – what is that one asked.
     Dio defined this as this was from the old country – as I am Italian-American; it goes by a name in Italy as I call this the ice stare.
     I gave the gym teacher who was the convicted pedophile this stare when he was breaking up a fight with me as he gave me the stare he would stare into the mug shots with when they would take updated photos when he is a convicted sex offender.
     But I do ask – what have my classmates done in 20 plus years since they graduated as some of them did little or nothing at all since then; as was said of the main character in Stir of Echoes. They walked the same five blocks their entire life and never traveled or met a celebrity at some moment in time – I am sure some of them might be looking at me like I am going to make them fodder for a Gothic Horror story. Don't try me with some of them because one of them is fodder for one right now – and it's a very elaborate way of saying "fuck you" at that.
     But then again; classmates are not always predictable in the department of controversy when they cause it on you – they forget one thing, what follows controversy. It's close friend known as backlash; when there is a backlash as what twitter doesn't know when they start a controversy when someone had 505 followers on their account – that was a serious buzz around them as one doesn't understand like twitter. They are social justice weasels. I am sure there will be classmates who are reading this denying how they disrespected my roster – when some realize three of my publishing roster turned out to be former classmates. (Photographer was from East on Issue Seven, then Issue Four and 10 who were part of the magazine.)
     "You published your classmates?"
     "I am the only publisher who does this over the years though I doubt my rivals would think of their school mates as a way of opening the door for them to be writers, but two on roster are childhood friends growing up. Issue 12 published them; so if you're going around saying I stole the stories for the TOC – you really haven't done your fucking research loser," I respond with a heavy dose of sarcasm.
     So I know I have called myself Al Capone with a word processor in An Eye In Shadows – I will explain how that is rather tongue rooted-firmly-in-cheek with the way I said it; I am a little tongue-in-cheek at times.
     Though I will say this with the controversy of the classmates; how can they wave this controversy is the question one has at hand. It's sometimes a thing they can't comprehend when they snub someone who is dying or had months to live as Senator Andrew Ian Dodge when he was just a horror author.
     "You never amounted to anything," I am sure a classmate is waiting to say this as they used.
     "I hope you die alone. Enjoy that" as they learned about the five year memoir – I didn't write that for the classmates; I wrote that for those who were to become a member of my roster or who were going to publish me to see where I came from.
     These assholes my classmates (two of them – Sherri Hibbett and Robert Champion became friends with a plagiarist and made the accusations of me going after many people's identifying information such as their SSN.
     I am going on record right here and now saying I would never plagiarize or go after someone's SSN. That's not in my nature to do that as I have published a troll's e-mail address because I want them to answer questions and linked someone's email address with a subject line. That I admitted to do because I want the reading public to respond to them.)
     As in I want them asking questions as this is the court of public opinion kind of deal; realizations when they knew they did was wrong – and sometimes I have had accounts frozen when I was trying to do the right thing.
     When you realize one classmate has as many connections as me on her linkedin.com as my facebook.com or myspace.com; she's a fucking public figure. Like Kealan Patrick Burke who is also connected to a few thousand – where he hates me with a passion is beyond me there; because I did respect him. Classmates invading my privacy when I am a public figure – at the same time I am very private person as Richard Matheson said he was when during the time he was alive. The thing that comes to mind when I think of the classmates – do they ever ask me, "If you ever get hard up for material you'd end up writing about us?"
     I know when I worked at Tower Records, my co-workers said that as almost like a send-off to me in that way. They saw something in there but the classmates – only three did though but others didn't as for the others; as adults some had decided it was funny to start a witch-hunt like the days of the Inquisition.
     That comes to be the controversy of the classmates as sometimes it is written to avoid controversy; and sometimes when you avoid it you end up stirring it. But when you research into the areas controversy it almost gives leeway to reveal the dark underbellies of the fluffy white suburban exteriors. But the question will be – what have the classmates done that changed things or opened the doors for others since they graduated if all they did was slam them.
     When the breaking point with some of my classmates and their controversy having to be when they snubbed one of my authors who had months to live. I guess force of habit when they pay no attention to the cemetery on Main Street in Lombard.
     I am sure if someone is watching this closely from our class and had read this one they might think about the players within the article – the question either they live in comfort or become the subject of adult years misery where they have been bragging about their personal Al Bundy moment in high school.
     When you snub the dying or those with months to live – I could fucking care less about that because they will ask you, "How did you go about snubbing someone who had months to live?" That question when asked might come across as being a little Gothic in nature – as in a Gothic Novel kind of question. When they want to relive "school spirit" so to speak – that was buried when the teacher who raped a student came to surface.
     Life is full of demise but we're always trudging churchyards as the early era Gothic Writer, Charles Maturin once wrote in his sermon – but when you have classmates who are snubbing those who are very sick and dying. Who will remember them when it's time for that proper burial?
     Because I am the one who chronicled frightening ways to die and have written characters who died in ways that nightmares are born; conceived in some ways. Still, but the realization that classmates are – it's more frightening to be alive; but that's part of the human experience though let the dead bury their own.
     The gothic novel that Charles Maturin spoke of Catholicism in a dark way to have the masses turn to Christianity – where I can say this was the first Christian to have written a Gothic Novel; where I give him credit for giving this a trait that a lot of us who are faith based doing this style some legitimacy.
     I read Melmoth the Wanderer as my contributor compared Shadow of the Gathering to this of my own horror offerings; though I will say the classmates can learn about themselves from reading Gothic Horror. So when you see the classmates mentioned in this article – there might be questions you may ask them if you are a classmate of ours; snubbing the dead is a huge one and approach them with one of my titles as an author or publisher in hand. Because that will drive it home to them what they did – reminding them what they did was gravely wrong.
     These are the classmates I will say might be scared to face me knowing what I revealed; and read with the obituary that was published of my contributor and far-off friend since my beginnings on AuthorsDen.com. If they were to look at Oak Park, Illinois, that had some parts of my career tied to there – my early photos were done there when I was coming back from the taping of being in the audience of The Jerry Springer Show in 2001.
     That was 15 years ago now since that will be done – then in 2006 as where I would see a shrink just off downtown Oak Park then again in 2007 where I did my photos for my book signing in Chicago, Illinois, then I came back to there in 2011 for a late night cup of coffee.
     My ties to Justice and Oak Park are strong, as they are to Maywood, Illinois, as where my grandmother when she was very young grew up – she went to Proviso East as this was where one of my wrestling meets were at.
     When you're a Christian and a Republican in Chicago – the bullying happens there too because you're on the other side of the fence from every stripe you get fucked with too; and twitter.com seems to open the door for this kind of bullying too. I have a mental health history and sometimes I am torn with NAMI because my beliefs and politics differ from theirs.
     I have an ethnically diverse roster over the years, where Issue Five was the most diverse in this sense. I get bullied because I refuse to give into the industry and be a LGBT friendly publisher – I say no to this because of my faith; and what was passed in Indiana, I wish Illinois took that kind of stand.
     I got death threats for publishing who I published in Issue 10 but I am not sorry for doing it. I saw someone say to me, "a Good Conservative is a dead one," as I have been greeted with some serious hostility for my Conservatism.
     That kind of thing – well when you're a horror writer who voted ashamed for George W. Bush, I am selective who I am voting for in 2016 because I want to really see who emerges and what are their issues like. Classmates sometimes are not receptive of me being a Republican who is fond of writing Gothic Fiction – writing Creative Nonfiction and Science Fiction gave me a wider reach than my contemporaries in some arenas.
     When you're much like Pat Robertson who is a vocal Evangelical also who argues for Evolution to be taught as a science to Christian High Schools. Tell me that will often quite to be very controversial because when you have Ray Comfort involved he tries to prove Six Day Creationism.
     It is written to seek out instruction when you are in questioning – as raise the child in the direction where he would go as well; but when the controversy of classmates.
     I am going to say to not raise them in a way where they are willing to snub those who are dying. My question would be if they were to stand before God; what would they even say to Him knowing they did that? The world that my classmates know are the shadows in the mirror looking up at them when they reached those gates they don't return from – as when that long gray or white vehicle drives them to their final resting place. Some well what remained, but they decide they decided to take my youth with a few guilty of bullying. I am not going to be the one who they will bury because some had died because of this; the controversy of classmates – it is their horror knowing what they did.
     "Snubbing the dead; okay that's a little heavy that you mentioned."
     I am sure someone will be screaming "FUCK YOU" at me for that one, repeatedly.
     That is up there with my cousin repeatedly calling me a "hobo" -- my cousin is lying about the time I was in St. Joe's; as it was only a week as the 21 days was Rush Medical Center.
     So the classmates should know not to fuck with a crazy person or cut off the video camera from them because the use of the video camera and video blog; you saw eight years of my life on video. As I had chronicled the nightmares that played out for a time that I was in a mental health unit for 21 days – that was over New Years of 2006 into 2007; December 27, 2006, to January 17, 2007, was the time I was there.
     The social worker who was in the Rush Medical Center known my cousin; I have and will say this so the doctor and the nurses wanted me to give them my debit card and pin. I don't trust people with this. I have every say in my treatment as I am diagnosed with Bipolar Type II.
     There are some things classmates should educate themselves about; that's part of the reason I am putting the one anthology that I took a little more than a year to work on more than planned.
     It's an important one because it does approach stigma of my generation. The thing about putting anthologies together require a lot of patience as I wish I had a few more classmates who'd be willing to put themselves out there and contribute to this instead they treat my roster like they are unwelcomed among them.
     Truth tellers and truth seekers are not exactly popular – as it was something in Amos 5: 10 how this is I wanted the classmates to join me because it was an anniversary celebration for me and some refused to understand it then, but when they saw Andrew Ian Dodge's obituary a few snapped out of it and realized what they did – well not a lot of classmates showed up to the 20 year reunion.
      When someone reveals a lot of truths in horror fiction; it's a true mirror of reality born around them – while everything else to classmates who ignore these things, it's their fucking fantasy world man. The utopia born within Hibbett's fantasy about how everyone is not frowning or have an angry scowl on their face.

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