The Best Gift Ever

Supernatural Stories | Sep 3, 2012 | 4 min read
56 Votes, average: 4 out of 5
"This is stupid," moaned Agatha as she let the rainbow colored hoop fall to the ground. "Is this how we treat gifts, Agie," said Diane, Agatha's mother retriving the fallen ring of plastic. Agatha scowled. Agatha was celebrating her eleventh birthday with her family. Special occasions had always been a burden for the single parent home was barely paying bills. Agatha especially hated her birthday because she never got what she asked for. The night before Agatha wished that she would give anything to have one gift that would amaze the kids at school and make them like her. "Who is the hula hoop from?," asked Diane, her thin wrinkles crinkled as she tried to smile through exhaustion. Snatching the tag off of the hoop, Agatha read out loud "The Best Gift Ever. From---Mom, it's blank. I dont know who sent it." "Well thats strange. Try it out," encouraged Diane. "Later. Let's just have some cake," said Agatha trying to find some good in this day.

Later that evening after getting ready for bed. Agatha stared at her three gifts---a new shirt with the words "Rock On" pressed on it, a bottle of Pink Surprise perfume and that crappy hula hoop. "Theres nothing here that will impress the cool kids. I want all the attention to be on me. I want to be the talk of school," Agatha yawned out and went to sleep. In her dream Agatha imagined standing in a group of school children wearing her new shirt as they gawked at her. Suddenly her hoop appeared and after ahe placed it over her body she began to sway her hips . The hoop glowed and sparkled. The crowd went wild.

The next morning, Agatha hopped out of bed and got dressed for school. She grabbed her hoop and kissed her mom goodbye. All day at school, kids made fun of Agatha because of her hoop but she just smiled. "Wait until the end of the day. I will amaze you," she thought to herself. The last bell finally rang and she promptly walked her hoop to the middle of the playground. Agatha wished one more time that this would be the best gift ever. "It will be," a small coy voice whispered in her mind. Agatha placed the hoop over her body and began to sway and just like her dream it began to sparkle. The children were intrigued and watched her command the hoop. Agatha! Agatha! Agatha! The crowd cheered. Agatha starting to feel tired, but overly happy with herself tried to stop. Her body continued to gyrate and the hoop began to spin faster. Agatha did not know what to do. The kids looked at Agie in shock. Agatha felt her sides bruising from where the hoop touch her. Her breath was shortening to quick gulps. She could barely inhale. The hoop went faster. Her stomach began to cave in and her shirt was torn acros the bottom. Agatha tried to look down and saw red welts forming across her midsection. The hoop was heating up. "Stop, Agatha," yelled one girl. "I can't," Agatha choked out coughing up blood in the process. Children screamed. Some ran looking for help. "Help me," wheezed Agatha. Agatha's vision started to fade and everyhting become a swirling blur. The hoop fely as it was ablaze. The pain was crippling but her body continue to move. Two loud inner cracks sounded like wood breaking in agatha's head as her ribs snapped. Vomit heaved forth. Children ran as the hoop tore pieces of Agatha's abdomen off and it hurled at them. "All the attention is on you now. The best gist ever is giving you all that you asked for you ungrateful brat," sneered that same voice from earlier. Some teachers tried to grabbed the hoop but their hands were burned as they reached forth. One teacher fingers were broken by the sheer force of the spin. As teachers and students watched as the hoop contiuned it's destructive rotation around Agatha, Diane ran toward her daughter. "Mom, thank you for everything. I'm sorry," was the last words Agatha spoke. At the moment when Diane gripped her daughter's hand the loud crunching tearing noise rang out. Agatha's upper body had seperated from her lower body into the arms of her mother. Her hips continued to gyrate for a moent or two until her legs fell over. Diane screamed holding only part of her daughter as blood pooled around them.

The raindow hula hoop rolled away. I heard that my spoiled niece is having a birthday soon. She's never satisfied with anything. She wants the best...Oh My God!

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Reviews

Katya Nov 16, 2012

Nah this didnt have any suspense at all.

Gabi Oct 5, 2012

The ending kind of ruined the suspense. But besides, that, it was great.

Sandy Haines Sep 15, 2012

Dang - what a story. Keep writing!

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