Agents of Chaos

Supernatural Stories | May 6, 2013 | 56 min read
20 Votes, average: 4 out of 5
My name is Charlie Simpson and I very well may be losing my mind. I am alone in an empty field pacing back and forth. The tall grass blows gently in the early summer breeze. Below me lies the middle school and it's adjacent playing fields. On the breeze I can hear the faint cheers from the softball games going on down there. I say alone but that's not entirely true. Over to my left leans the figure of a 16th century samurai up against a tree. He wears the traditional tan samurai robe covering his body and well worn sandals on his feet. From his waistband protrudes the hilt of two blades. One long (the kitana) and one short (the wazikashi). He shields his eyes from the setting sun as he scans the parking lot below us.
The blue Nike jump suit I wear clings to my sweating skin. Despite the heat my hands are cold as stone in December and I nervously rub them together. Doubt begins to creep into my thoughts. The questions come rapid fire. Will he come? Will he bring friends or will he be alone like I insisted? Can I really do this? And the pink elephant in the room that I don't want to acknowledge. Have I gone completely crazy?
"You must calm yourself. Remember, if you wish to control others you must first control yourself ", says the samurai.
"Yes, master", I say as I take a deep breath.
After a few moments my head clears and a strange calmness envelopes me. He has that effect. I now possess a focus that was lacking before. For this I am thankful.
"Master , I…." I began.
"Yes, I know", he said. "You are thankful that I am here in your moment of need. But, where else would I rather be than with my favorite young warrior before the duel? You have doubts about the coming battle?", he asks.
"Yes Master", I answer.
"Hmm", he mutters and strokes his scraggly beard absentmindedly. His long hair is unkempt and hangs about his shoulders. He smells of sweat and neglect. He probably hasn't bathed in days. You're probably thinking who brought the cool kid, right? But without him none of this would be possible. I owe everything to him.
"I remember before my third duel with the Yoshioko school I felt the same way. I had defeated both of the brothers in man to man combat. Their disciples were so enraged that they challenged me to a third duel the coming day. It was a trap. They knew it and I knew it. They would ambush me when I showed up. Before I went to the duel I stopped at a Shinto shrine to pray. This was common for any samurai about to go into battle. One would ring the bell twice to announce himself to the Gods and send forth his prayer. As I was reaching for the bell I realized this was wrong. I had never sought the approval of the Gods before so why now? Because I was scared? What would the Gods care about an insect like me? That is when I realized that only I could determine the outcome of my fate. Remember, respect Buddha and the Gods without counting on them."
His right hand smoothly finds the hilt of the kitana (the larger of the two)and quick as a cobra striking he pulls the long blade from its scabbard and points it at my chest.
"Now, think about why you are here. And remember, you may abandon your own body but you must preserve your honor".
"Yes, Master", I say as I bow my head in reflection. I kneel down and fold my body into the lotus position. My mind begins to slip back in time remembering what has brought me to this point.
Her name is Lucy and I met her when I was home on summer break between my junior and senior year at boarding school. She wasn't beautiful in the classical sense. She was short and had a broad face. Not what you would call a natural beauty. But Lucy had that certain something that got my blood boiling. From her husky voice to the way she swayed her hips when she walked. She was sex in a bottle as far as I was concerned. Yea, I don't get out much. And she had big boobs…. I like boobs.
The sound of Master's voice momentarily snaps me back into the field, "Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love".
"So…..I should ignore the boobs?", I ask. Easier said than done.
"Hai", he replies. He is searching for something under the trees. Sifting thru the pine needles and broken off branches with his kitana. Funny how he always knows what I am thinking.
I had been down on the dock by the lake one warm summer evening drinking cheap beer with Denny and Mark, a couple of friends I had from town. The lake was the perfect hangout when you were too young to go to the bars but old enough to want to. It was after hours and the families and life guards had gone home long ago. The cops didn't bother us because the lake was down a long path that wound between trees and the adjacent pond. They would have had to get out of their cars and walk the quarter mile down to the beach and it was just as easy to catch us on the walk back if they wanted. Besides, I guess they figured out of sight out of mind. As long as we didn't make too much noise or light the surrounding woods on fire they would leave us alone.
The kids that hung out on the docks were cool. The really popular kids from town had parties in their parent's house when they went away skiing or to their beach house. We didn't hang with that crowd so more often than not we found ourselves down by the dock shooting the shit with whoever came by. I had money and a fake I.D. so we always had beer and I shared with my fellow man. A fact that used to piss Denny off to no end. Like he had paid for the beer, right? He would argue it was about the principle of the matter. If we let free loaders have all our beer it would be encouraging the dead beats (completely ignoring the fact that I was usually the one who paid for all our beer. I guess it is easier to see the failures in others than in ourselves….. That's some deep shit…..Amazing what you can come up with after a few of Milwaukee's Best!) The more the merrier as far as I was concerned. It wasn't like the docks were mobbed every night anyhow.
We had passed the concrete bath house and walked down the beach to the dock. We set up by the tall diving board that looked out on the lake. There had been no wind that day so the water surface was as clear and calm as a sheet of glass. I was leaning up against the metal railing dodging the occasional mosquito while Denny sat on the styrafoam cooler and Mark squatted down on his haunches. They passed a joint between them while engaged in an asinine debate over who would win: a shark or a bear in a fight. You know, the kind of arguments you have when you put a group of guys, no real purpose, and cheap beer together. The great democratic debates of the Roman forum it wasn't.
"I'm telling ya dude, if all things were equal a shark would kill a bear", Denny said in his most authoritative tone. Mark took another drag off the spliff, held it for several seconds and then slowly exhaled.
"Your crazy, brah", he said with a slight chuckle. "This shits making you crazy, man", he said indicating the joint he held,". Besides, do you know how big a bear's paw is?"......He paused as he tried to collect his thoughts…."Really fucking big, man". He went to hand the spliff to me while asking, "What do you think big man?".
I held up my hand , "I'm not having this conversation".
I was a year older and a good deal bigger than Denny and Mark. I stood a shade under 6'2 and thru weight training the previous year was now up to a solid 190 lbs. I wasn't a giant but I could take care of myself.
Denny inhaled deeply off the drag and tried to hold it in before coughing violently.
"Dude, you gotta have an opinion, man. You ever seen a shark's teeth? I was down the Cape last summer and this fishing boat had one up on the dock…."
"A fucking great white, man?", Mark asked.
"Shit yeah, son. That's what I'm talkin' ‘bout, ain't it", Denny replied.
Apparently the combination of drugs and booze was starting to kick in. Denny leaned to the side and spit off the end of the dock.
Movement on the beach caught my eye. A group had emerged from the shadows of the concrete bath house. My eyes scanned over them as they made their way up the dock in our direction. I didn't expect trouble. Mostly just stoners came out here (hence my friends) but it was always better to be safe than sorry. Instinctively my hand slid into my pocket where I kept a roll of quarters wrapped up in duct tape. The idea being if you cupped them in your fist and hit someone it would increase your power. I had never actually used the roll before but just their touch comforted me as the group approached. And Denny had a habit of shooting his mouth off when he got deep into his cups.
Denny hadn't noticed the approaching group as he was still engrossed over his imaginery battle between a great white and a grizzly bear. "And their fucking fast, kid. They can jump out of the water after a seal and come clean out of the…"
"Be cool, Denny", I said as the group was nearly upon us.
I could now see it was three guys and two girls. They all wore shorts and t-shirts. The official uniform of the summer slacker. None of the guys were all that big and they seemed to be just looking for a good time. One was carrying a portable CD player. From it I could hear a Grateful Dead tune. Not sure which one. All that shit sounds the same to me, anyway. As they made their way down the dock Denny took offense to my interrupting his deep thoughts on mammal/ fish combat.
"Kid, why you gotta waste my flavor like that? I don't get into your shit do I? Me and my man here are just having a conversation and you gotta go butting in….", Denny finally noticed the group as they came up to us.
A short girl stepped to the front of the group. She was wearing jean shorts that showed off her tan legs and a white shirt that outlined her ample knockers. This girl knew how to dress to impress. Or at least it worked for me. Did I mention my boarding school is all boys? Anyway, she stood there for a moment making sure me and my horny buddies got a good look before motioning at the beer Denny was holding and said, "What flava' z that?". There was an edge to her throaty Boston accent that immediatedly sent my hormones into overdrive.
"Mine", Denny said as he tilted his head sideways and smirked at her.
"Denny, your such an asshole", she said. They knew each other from school. That was the advantage Denny and Mark had over me. Although we lived in the same town they had gone to school with all these kids and I hadn't. Going from one boarding school to another I had never really established an identity in my own home town. Sometimes I felt like a ghost in my own skin. I was anonymous to most of these kids. But I had learned to celebrate my anonymity. . I was fucking mysterious, man. Sometimes I would……
"Focus!", Master says to me from a stump nearby my seated position. "You lose concentration too easily. On the battlefield this kind of frivility will get you killed!".
He had a long branch and was whittling the end of it with his wazikashi blade.
"Remember, think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world."
"Yes sir", I said as my mind slipped back to the docks…
Since I had taken another beer out of our cooler a minute earlier to replace my wounded soldier I offered her mine with the smoothest line I could think of, "Here", I said….Yeah, I was a sweet talker.
"Finally, a gentleman", she said as her blue eyes fixed on mine. We hit it off and spent the rest of the night talking about our lives. She, how she had been adopted as a kid and how when she turned 18 she wanted to search out her birth mother. And me, how I loved her bazookas. I didn't actually tell her that. I just kept sneaking glances as I rambled on about God knows what. Because I was having an out of body experience. Or maybe you would call it an out of pants experience. Not sure. But Lucy liked to talk and I liked to listen. And size up her cans. At any rate she had saved me from the idiotic shark debate. At the end of the night I got a kiss and her number. Life was good.
Lets speed the story along and fast forward to this summer. Lucy and I had been exclusive to each other all year while I was away (easy for me because I was at an all boy's boarding school). I had heard rumors she was seeing someone on the side but she always denied it and I didn't press. I was getting laid for the first time in my life and I didn't want to ruin a good thing. What do they say? Ignorance is bliss? Well it's fucking euphoric when it's getting its rocks off on the regular (semi regular. Boarding school, remember?).
She was even by my hospital bedside after the car accident. Denny and I had driven down to Hartford for an AC/DC concert. We had been drinking all night and Denny drove home. Some where along I-95 he had fallen asleep. I was already passed out in the passenger seat. We went off the road and rolled the car 3 times before coming to a stop on the embankment. I don't remember much. I came to in a hospital bed with my mom hovering over me looking worried. They said we were lucky. Just some bumps and bruises. Nothing broken. The worst part for me was the concussion. For a while I was sensitive to light and had incredible head aches. And strange dreams. Again I don't recall much. Just a doctor or someone who seemed important coming to me and telling me it would all be alright. That he would take care of it. Whatever it was I don't remember. And this guy wasn't dressed like a modern doctor. He seemed familiar to me but I couldn't place why. But like most dreams I would forget most of it by the time I awoke. It didn't seem to matter at the time.
When I got home this summer I was expecting a whole slew of sexcapades and instead I got a heavy dose of rejection. Turns out Lucy had been seeing someone on the side and now she was going to see him in the front and from behind and every other way my warped jealous mind could imagine.
His name was Lou Ventimiglia. Big V to his friends. I wasn't his friend. Lou was three years my senior and built like a brick shithouse (never really understood that saying? But I figure it's appropriate since he was incredibly stout and I hated the shit out of him!). He had been an all state wrestler at 210 lbs. in high school and gone on to an undistinguished career at a small college in upstate NY. Then he had been kicked out for drinking or drugging or some combination of the two. It didn't really matter for Lou's future. His family owned a successful landscaping company and as the oldest of three (two boys, one girl. I do my homework!) he was slated to take over whenever his old man decided to retire. For the past year Lou had been working in the business and with all the manual labor and other shenanigans (it was rumored Lou was not only using steroids but selling on the side) he had gotten enormously strong!
Lucy sure could pick them! Why couldn't she hook up with some skinny ass geek who I could pummel and then get on with my life? Instead she picks one of the biggest baddest hombre's in town. The girl just had no consideration!
And how do you do that to someone you loved? At least I think she loved me. She said it enough times. Is that just some throw away term that we use when we can't think of anything better to say. I love you? What a jip! I certainly loved her. I called her all the time I was away and wrote to her and saw her every minute I could when I was home. That's gotta count for something right? How do you share time and secrets and the most intimate parts of yourself with someone and then they just up and leave you for the next best thing to come along? After all, aren't we all hardwired to seek out a soul mate and pour all our essence into them and expect that same purity to come back our way and spend the rest of our days together? And when it ends it crushes our very spirit and messes with our primal coding and leaves us so fucking ragged that all we want is some sort of perverted justice to signify that we were right and they were wrong and now all they need to do is come back to make everything ok again? Its enough to tear apart the very fabric of your sanity.
"You sound like a whiny dog by the back door on a cold night".
Again I am back in the field with him. The sun is setting slowly over the trees and the birds are getting in their last runs before night. If Lou is coming he will be here soon. I must be ready but I have to get the story straight in my head first. For some reason this seems important to me.
"Continue your story and remember, do not stray from the way", he says.
So the whole break up thing with Lucy really pushed me over the edge. And that's how he found me. I'm in the bathroom leaning over the toilet feeling like I am going to puke for the third time that day and I hear a voice behind me.
"Accept everything just as it is", the voice says.
I roll my eyes to the side and try to focus, "Ughh…..What?"
"I said, accept everything as it is".
And then I saw the old samurai standing in the corner of my bathroom leaning up against the sink. He had on a long dark robe that covered the majority of his body. One sandaled foot was propped up on the bath tub while both h is hands rested on the hilts of two swords that protruded from his waistband. His face appeared old and weathered but his eyes were brilliant and focused and he was looking straight at me with those steely eyes and smiling in a menacing way. The way a shark looks at a minnow. A predator's grin.
I felt cold. I shook my head to get my bearings. Blinked my eyes repeatedly but he was still there. He chuckled low in his throat.
"Yes. I am real."
"Who the fuck are…", I began but was cut short by a lightning quick backhand from the old man.
"You will not curse at me, you lowly dog!", he growled.
I curled back in the corner of the bathroom between the bathtub and the wall. "I'm sorry", I said. Again shaking my head to make sure this was real. "Who….Who are you", I stammered.
"I am Miyamoto Musashi", the samurai said in a clear focused voice. "I am here to help."
This couldn't be happening!? Miyamoto Musashi was a 16th century samurai who wandered the Japanese countryside engaging in sword duels. Musashi fought over 60 challenge matches and never lost. He perfected a two sword fighting method that he used to near perfection. At the end of his life he secluded himself away in a mountain temple and wrote his life work in the Book of Five Rings. I had read this book over a year ago for a project in school. I can still see it on my book shelf between Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Chronicles of Sherlock Holmes and Joe Angland's The Hitman Blues (my favorite books). I remember being very engrossed in it at the time but hadn't picked the book up since. So what the hell was he doing in my bathroom when he was supposed to have died over 4oo years ago! And what did he want with me?
"Can you live with it?", he asks me.
Struggling to keep up with this whole episode I replied, "…What?"
"I said, can you live with it? You know, you should really get your ears checked. I am getting tired of repeating myself. Perhaps it is not your hearing. Perhaps you are just stupid. Is that it? Are you stupid?", He raised an eyebrow and inquired.
"Huh?", my mind raced to keep up with the conversation.
Quick as a snake another backhand cracked me across the side of the head making me see stars and bouncing my head off the side of the tub.
"Can you live with that bastard walking around breathing the same air as you? Getting away with it every day?".
"No!", I quickly said. My hands were now up around my head protecting it from any further abuse.
"Good", he said. "Then you are not the spineless worm I was beginning to fear you were".
His smile revealed two missing teeth on his lower jaw. This was not a man to be messed with.
He kneeled down and took my chin in his hand holding my face up to his. I tried to pull back but his strength was too much. "Are you haunted?", he paused for effect. " The images of them together. Do they haunt you?"
"Yes", I said.
He looked at me inquiringly, "Well?", he asked.
"Well, what?", I said.
He let out a sigh of frustration. "What are you going to do about it?".
"What do you want me to do?", I asked. "If I run him over with my car the cops will lock me up for the next twenty plus years! I'm too pretty to go to jail!".
"Huh", he chuckled deep and low in his throat. "You are funny. Don't worry about disposing of him afterwards. I have friends who can help you with that. I am here to help you take him down like the dog he is. What happens afterwards is the will of the Gods."
"Are you talking about killing him", my voice starts to rise in panic. "Because I don't think…"
His grip on my jaw tightens and cuts off the rest of what I was going to say. His face is mere inches from mine.
He asks me, "Do you trust me, Charlie?".
His iron gaze is seeing right thru me. Can see right to the core of my being. Where I am raw and hurt. I don't know if he is real or not but there is a part of me that wants him to be. A part of me that cries out for vengeance. A part of me that wants to do this. I am breathless when I answer him.
"….yes".
"Good", he says. "If you do exactly as I say you will have your vengeance. I will always do right by you, Charlie. I will show you the way. Now you should rest".
He lays my head gently down on the bath mat. I am comforted for the first time in days. Calm settles over me. Perhaps I am losing my mind. I don't care. I surrender to sleep and whatever dreams it brings on. Everything will be all right. I hear this in my head but it's the doctor's voice from my dreams.
Back in the field. Master Musashi has said something but I am trying to make sense of the voices in my head. It seems there are more of them.
"I'm sorry Master, what did you say".
"I said, never stray from the way". He has been working on the stick for a while now. It runs about a foot long and its end is as sharp as a spike. "Hurry up your story. He will be here soon."
"Yes Master".
Fast forward to this afternoon. I spend most of the day tailing Lou in his work pickup with the trailer hooked on the back. He has Lucy with him. Apparently she is working for him. What a deal. She humps it all day for him at work than he humps her all night. Good work if you can get it, I guess. My chest tightens when I see her. That old familiar pang of fear and regret. I wish it hadn't come to this. Cause it's going to get ugly and there will be no going back once I get started. Well, fuck it. If this is what she wants then this is what she gets. It didn't have to be like this I tell myself. It's all her fault I tell myself. If I keep telling myself these things maybe I will believe them.
They don't notice me. They are to busy playing grab ass while they work and besides, I'm driving my Dad's new car. Don't tell him. A nondescript grey Toyota Camry that he left at the train station this morning and expects to be waiting for him when he gets back from work. If everything goes right it will be waiting for him. What I have planned won't take long. All I need is a few minutes alone with Lou. Lucy has to be close enough to jump in but she can't see me first. That will ruin everything. I have to be patient and recognize the moment when it comes.
All day I have been alone. I don't know where Master Musashi is but I could really use him right now. Could really use his sage advice. Or just hear his voice. Christ! Where is he?
Lucy is wearing blue shorts and a white tank top. I am disappointed to see the outline of a bra. Despite the heat she looks great. All hot and sweaty and I feel the familiar heat build in my lower belly. I want to get out of the car and take her right there on the lawn in front of Lou. God damn it I hate her!
They go from one job to another mowing lawns and tending shrubbery. It's hot out and they frequently have to stop and take water breaks. I almost feel sorry for Lou having to work outside in this heat. I say almost because then I remind myself that he is drilling my ex girlfriend and all those dark pornographic images come flooding back to me.
A black man's voice from over my shoulder.
"Make that cocksucka' pay, bro".
I jump and turn around. He sounded like he was right behind me. No one in the backseat. Weird. I have to push it to the back of my head or else I will miss my opportunity.
My chance comes late in the afternoon. They are working at a sprawling colonial house on a busy street. Large white pillars stand guard by the front door. To either side of the entrance there are mulberry bushes. Lou is trimming one and Lucy has taken the mower around back. I realize this is it. I may only have moments before Lucy comes back so I better make my move. I reach for my car door but my hand is frozen. My heart hammers away in my chest so hard I am afraid it's going to leap out of my shirt. I am paralyzed with fear. I close my eyes and try to slow my breathing. My head is dizzy and I feel like I am going to throw up. I can't do this alone . Time to bail and regroup. Find out where the hell Master Musashi went!
My eyes are still closed when I hear his voice next to me. "Under the sword lifted high, there is hell making you tremble. But go ahead, and you have the land of bliss."
Thank God he is here! My heart rate is slowing. The feeling of light headedness and nausea subside. Everything will be all right.
"Perhaps a story will help you", Master Musashi says. "When I was a young man I fought a duel against Sasaki Kojiro. He was known as the "Demon of the Western Province". He was a large man, larger than me and he used a blade known as a nodaichi. Are you familiar with this weapon?", he asked.
"No", I replied.
"Huh. It is longer than a kitana and gives the user a greater reach in combat. It takes a large skilled man to wield such a weapon effectively but Kojiro was able to use this to his advantage and defeat all challenges. I knew that to fight Kojiro on even terms would be suicide. If all things were equal that long blade would be nearly impossible to defeat. Now Kojiro was a proper samurai. He kept himself immaculate in his clothing and appearance. He prayed to the Gods and respected the old ways. He was a good man."
Master Musashi bows his head slightly when he says this. There is a pause in his delivery as if he is considering his opponent once more. He sighs softly and continues.
"I knew the only way to defeat Kojiro was to unnerve him. To offend his sensibilities and in doing so to compromise his skill with that long blade. The duel was to take place on an island off the coast at dawn. I slept in that morning and arrived several hours late. I had deliberately kept Kojiro waiting and this simply was not done by the samurai. As my companion rowed our small boat into shore I could see Kojiro pacing back and forth on the beach. He could barely control his anger. Before I even got out of the boat he was bellowing at me across the surf and threw his scabbard into the sea. It was at this point that I knew I had defeated him. The actual battle was a mere formality."
"I remember reading about that", I said. "You carved a sword out of a wooden oar that was a few inches longer than his blade and struck him down with it."
"Yes. That bit of strategy helped as well. Combined with Kojiro's rage it was simply too much for a man of his refinement to overcome." Musashi shifted in his leather seat and pointed in Lou's direction. " So if you feel this man is too much for you physically then you must attack him mentally. Make him so angry that he can't see straight. Can you do this? Can you get under his skin?"
I thought about it for a minute. " I don't think…."
A flare of pain shoots across the right side of my face. He must have back handed me. My eyes were closed and again, I didn't see it coming. I never do.
"I want you to stop being such a coward and do what you came here for!", he demands.
I can feel heat burning up my face. I am not sure if it is from the strike or my embarrassment. This man is a legend. Perhaps the greatest samurai to ever live. He has faced down death many times. I am nothing in his shadow. I want his courage. I want his skill. I want to be him. God he is cool!
My heart is in my throat as I open my car door and slide out into the heat of the day. I am vaguely aware of the sound of traffic behind me and the chirping of birds in the trees as I approach. Blood rushes thru my ears with each heartbeat. The smell of cut grass lingers on the breeze. Lou is down on one knee with his back to me. Christ, you could show a movie on that back! He is wrestling with the weed whacker to get it started. He pulls vigorously on the starter cord. I can see the muscles bulge from his forearms. I tell myself to remain calm. The sweat trickling down my sides belies my composure.
I hear Master Musashi's voice , "To become the enemy, see yourself as the enemy of the enemy" . I tell myself this is just in my head and suddenly I am relaxed. I can do this. Hell, this could even be fun!
"Big V", I holler above the drum of the trimmer. He turns around to face me and I can see the hint of a smile on his face. I almost feel bad for what I am about to do. Perhaps in another life we would have been friends. Not this one. Not after what I am about to say. All his friends call him Big V and he has mistaken me for one of his bros. "What's up, Big V?", I say in my friendliest tone. His smile falters ever so slightly into a quizzical frown as he tries to place me.
"Yeah?", he asks more than says. I need to get started while I still have the jump on him.
"You go out with Lucy Williams, right? ", the look on his face says he is not sure where this is going. There is still a hint of a smile but it is fading.
"Well the funny thing is, Big V, may I call you Big V? I'm sorry, I never asked your permission to address you in such a familiar tone. But, come to think of it, you never asked my permission to fuck my girlfriend. So when you think about it Big V, we have both taken liberties at each others expense."
Where was this shit coming from? I never sounded this slick in my life? And now all this cool pyscho babble was just flowing from my tongue like I was the coolest cat on the block. A regular white suburban Samuel L. Jackson!
"What the fuck…", Lou began but I didn't let him finish.
"Exactly Big V, what the fuck!", I pounded my fist into my palm on the last three words." Lucy was with me first and you never asked my permission to stick your dick in her, did you? Did you", I said as I jabbed my finger out in his direction. "Now, I don't know how you dumb Guineas do things.", I stopped for a moment and did my best to look puzzled. "You are a Guinea, right Big V?".
"Italian", he growled.
"Like I said, Guinea.", I looked around the front yard at his landscaping work, "So this is like skilled labor for you guys, right?".
The smile on his face has been replaced by a sneer. "Fuck you, shitbag".
"So answer me this, Big V", I was now dropping my voice to emphasize his nick name. "Do you kiss her on the lips?"
"Fuck you".
He stands up to his full height and puffs his massive chest out at me. This is meant to be an intimidating gesture. I have a couple of inches on him but he is nearly twice my width. At this point any rationale individual would back down and apologize for offending. But my mouth is writing checks that my ass can't cash and I hurtle forward with reckless abandon.
"You're quite the conversationalist, Big V. But please answer my question. In the heat of passion, do you kiss her on the lips?"
No response this time. Only him glowering at me and gripping the trimmer so hard I can see the whites of his knuckles.
"Cause you know, I was with Lucy first. And we did all sorts of things together . You do know she's not a virgin, right Big V?"
I am walking a thin line now. I can feel the moment teetering on the brink. I didn't want to push him too far too soon but now I figure, fuck it. I am in the moment and the moment feels right. Why let common sense and self preservation get in the way of a killer one liner. This is a declaration of war on my part and I have to see it though.
"Yeah, she's not a virgin. So I gotta ask cause I've always been a little bit curious", and with this I lean in towards him and look both ways before jutting my chin out at him and asking. "How does my dick taste?"
He hurls the trimmer to the ground and comes at me full charge. I am already backpedaling with my open hands up around my head yelling, "Whoa Whoa!". The first punch I am able to block with my arms but it still nearly knocks me to the ground. This guy is incredibly strong! The second overhand left grazes my head and pushes me towards a bush. As quick as I can I put the bush between the two of us and start yelling .
"What the hell, man!"
Lou is trying desperately to get around the bush and put his big mitts on me. His face is beat red and he keeps chanting, "Muthafucka"as he chases me around. This must look comical from the street. Two grown men playing grab ass on the front lawn! By now Lucy has heard the commotion and come running to see whats happening.
"Lou?! Charlie?! What the fuck?!"
Ah yes. My sweet delicate rose.
Lou isn't looking at her. He only has eyes for me. We continue to play our madcap game of around the bush to the amusement of the traffic in the street. I hear a car horn beep its approval.
As innocently as I can while staying one step ahead of Lou I try to appeal to Lucy's sensibilities.
"I'm just passing by and this fucking lunatic starts chasing me!"
By now Lucy has gotten between us and is trying to push Lou away.
She is looking at him as she pushes against the brute and says, "Back off, Louie".
I can't help myself. I silently mimmick the name Louie and blow him a fake kiss. This sets him off again and Lucy struggles to keep him away.
"Back off Louie! I mean it! And you!", she says as she turns to look in my direction. "I'm just supposed to believe you were passing by, Charlie? PLLLEASE! What the hell are you doing here? Didn't I make it perfectly clear we are over? Don't you get it? We are done!"
Now it's Lou's turn to gloat. Only he is too stupid to realize it. He points his finger at me and says, "I don't care, asshole! I'm gonna fucking destroy you!"
"No your not!", she says. "Your gonna leave him alone. And your gonna leave us alone, right Charlie?"
Not a chance. Sorry Lucy but I have been thru way too much to just let this pass. This goes beyond Lucy and me. This is primal now.
"If you've got such a hard on for me, Louie", I like his new nickname, "then meet me up at the field behind Hartley school tonight after work. Not the playing fields but the one behind the school that leads up to the preservation land. You know where that is asshole or do I need to draw you a map? I know how slow you Dagos are".
"Your fucking dead", the look in Lou's eye say's he means it.
"No, no he isn't. And your not fighting", Lucy says to him. "Charlie get the fuck out of here! Just leave!".
"You come alone, Louie. Don't think of bringing any of your Goomba friends with you. This is between me and you", I'm starring daggers right back at him. Fuck him.
"No Charlie! Just get out of here! Now!", there are tears in Lucy's eyes.
I don't know if those tears are for me or Lou or she is just caught up in the moment. I gotta admit. It was emotional. As I pass Lou's truck I hock up a big lougie and spit it on his windshield. For the effort I am rewarded by hearing Lou shout "Muthafucka! Did you see what that asshole just did?". I can hear Lucy trying her best to calm him down. I slide into the drivers side of my dads car. From the passenger's side Master Musashi is smiling at me.

"His car has just entered the parking lot. Prepare yourself.", says Master Musashi.
I open my eyes and I am back in the field behind the school. I have strategically picked this ground to fight my battle on. The parking lot is on the side of the school and a concrete path leads from it along the side of a playing field. Halfway down the path splits off and a dirt trail leads over a small stream. From the stream the ground rises slightly for about a hundred yards to the field where I sit.
From this vantage point I can see any cars entering the parking lot and anyone approaching my position. I am at the back end of the field right before the tree line that leads up to the nature preserve. No one comes up here much. The field below is overgrown with waist high grass that only gets cut at the end of the summer. I know of this entrance to the preserve because I used to take my dog for walks up here. It's peaceful and quiet . The playing fields below are busy with softball games and the parking lot is over half full. From my position no one will be able to see two lone figures way up here with all the noise and commotion of the softball league going on. I scan the lot and see Lou's truck. Unmistakable with the Italian flag draped across the rear window. What an asshole.
I can't see Lou but he must be coming up the trail. I check the pocket of my sweat suit and feel the sand I have put there. My plan is to have Master Musashi in plain sight. Once Lou see's Master Musashi with me he is bound to stop for a moment. A robed samurai with double swords in his waistband will make anyone hesitate. At least momentarily. This will give me my chance to throw the sand in his face. I will have the advantage if only momentarily. No, its not fighting fair but there really is no such thing. Besides, this guy is a monster and I need all in my favor.
From the edge of the clearing below me I see Lou. The fucking maniac is running up hill towards me. And not at a jog but a full out sprint! I still have at least twenty seconds before he gets to me but I start to panic. He is panting and charging hard up the path.
"Haha! You have angered him, I would say.", says Master Musashi. He is standing off to my side with his hands on his thighs laughing.
"I don't see what's so funny", I say. "He is gonna kill me". My voice rises a little with panic.
Master Musashi turns and looks at me. The laughter has stopped abruptly and his eyebrows are knitted tightly together.
"No he is not. Do you not see that you already have the advantage? He is running all out up a hill in this heat", Master Musashi pauses to let this sink in. "You are the master tactician. You have chosen the ground. You have angered your opponent beyond reason. You have chosen your weapon. All that remains is to defeat him when he gets here."
Right. Sounds easy enough. I brace myself as Lou comes chugging up the trail. I now have only seconds before he is on me. He is sweating profusely as he races towards me. I can hear him repeating his mantra over and over, "Muthafucka". And on he comes.
I stand up and hold my left hand out in front of me, "Hold on Lou", I say.
I just want him to slow down for a minute so I can throw my sand. He doesn't. I don't have time to think about why he didn't stop. He keeps coming at me like a bull running the streets of Pamplona. I panic and throw the sand with my right hand. It sails high and off to the right of him and harmlessly falls to the ground. Nothing left to do but brace for impact. A moment later Lou tackles me like a linebacker wrapping up a running back. The force of the blow is tremendous. We both roll to the ground with a hard thud. My head whips back and strikes the ground. Momentarily I see stars. The next thing I know I am on top of Lou. His momentum was so much that he knocked me over and I continued rolling until I am on top of him. Lucky bounce for me. Without thinking I ball up my fists and start striking down at his face. I am throwing punches so fast I don't know if I am hitting Lou or the ground. Everything moves at hyper speed. I am outside myself moving quicker than my mind can comprehend. Lou covers up and then bucks his hips. I am thrown off of him and land on all fours in front of his position. I turn to continue the assault but Lou has already launched himself at me again. He is powered by adrenaline as he tackles me once more. This time he is on top of me. This is not good. Lou is a wrestler by trade and his plan is to overpower me. Hate to say it but it's a good plan. Lou starts raining down punches from his superior position on me. Again I see stars. I try to cover up but Lou has one of my arms pinned under him. All I can do is cover my face with my left hand. This is going badly.
"Fuck you mothafucka!", Lou yells as he continues pounding me. "You like that asshole?". A punch slams off the side of my head. "Fucking cocksucker!", another punch careens off my shoulder. He is taking his time now. Lou is in control and he is going to make me pay for messing with him.
"Let me hear ya smaht mouth now, fucka", he says.
This is followed by yet another blow . There are bees buzzing in my head. Everything hurts and I can feel my left eye rapidly swelling. This guy is incredibly strong and I haven't blocked nearly enough of his punches to save my pretty face. I roll my head to the side and look for Master Musashi. He is standing off by the tree line smiling at me. Lou hasn't seemed to notice him and I don't have time to consider this.
"Perhaps you should try, monkey grasps the fruit?", Master Musashi asks me.
I look at him not comprehending as yet another strike crashes off my head and a streak of white flashes across my vision.
"Monkey grasps the fruit", Master Musashi implores as he mimmicks a grabbing gesture.
Right All those Saturday morning's in front of the tv as a kid watching Kung Fu theatre. My mother used to yell at me to go outside and get some fresh air. That I was waisting a perfectly good day. Who knew years later that those wasted days would pay off?
I stop using my left hand as a shield for my head and try to grab at Lou's groin. I am rewarded with a punch that lands flush on my face and I feel something snap in my nose. The pain is incredible! White hot flares shoot thru my brain. Lou sees my feeble attempt at a ball grab and instinctively shifts his weight away from my hand as he grabs it with his hand. This movement is enough to free my pinned right arm. I barely notice thru the suffocating pain of my nose.
"Twin daggers cut the bridge! Now! Twin daggers cut the bridge!", Master Musashi's voice yelling at me from the tree line.
Without thinking I know exactly what he means. With my freed right arm I pivot off my left side as much as possible against Lou's weight and shoot my right thumb at his left eye. By some miracle it lands! I feel the soft tissue of his eye socket and sink my thumb in as deep as I can.
Lou scampers backwards off of me while holding his eye and screaming . He is backing directly towards Master Musashi and never see's it coming, but I do. I see everything as if in slow motion. Master Musashi pulls his wazikashi (the smaller of the two blades he carries) from his waistband and stabs Lou thru the neck. Instantly there is blood spurting everywhere. Lou's one good eye goes large as his hands go to the blade jutting from his neck. He forgets about his wounded eye and crumples over on his side. His legs are kicking at the air and he is making a sick gargling sound.
I watch impassively. I can't feel anything right now. No pain. No regret. I am drained. Emotionally and physically spent. The gargling sounds from Lou are subsiding quickly. His legs kick out less. In a few moments they stop and he is quiet. In the distance I can hear the cheers from the softball games. I am disaffected by this. Nothing feels real anymore. I am so tired.
"You have done well, Charlie".
I don't look at Master Musashi. I can't. I just keep looking at Lou's still form.
"It is never easy taking another's life. He was a formidable opponent and you should honor his memory."
"What?...", I say as I turn to Master Musashi.
With one arm he pulls me off the ground and stands me in front of him. He puts his hands on my shoulders. His piercing eyes look deep into mine.
"Charlie, the only reason a warrior is alive is to fight, and the only reason a warrior fights is to win. Do not regret what you have done."
"What I have….but I didn't….."
He steps towards me and wraps his arms around me.. I bury my head in his shoulder. I am crying.
"I…. want you….. to be proud of me", I say between sobs.
His voice in my ear, "I am very proud of you Charlie. How could I not be? But you have a busy night ahead of you and now you must rest. I want you to lie down and close your eyes."
I can feel him moving me to the ground. I can't resist. I am like a child in his arms. He folds me down under a tree. I am mere feet away from Lou's cooling body but I don't care. Nothing seems to matter. I don't even think of Lucy and how she will react to this. Nothing is real. I am so tired. I close my eyes and it all goes away. For a time.
JACKIE TWO GUNS
I wake with a start. I don't know where I am and it is dark out. Someone is nudging me with their foot. It all comes back to me and I awake with a start thinking it's Lou.
"Whoa, take it easy sleepin' beauty. I'm here ta help.", the voice deep and baritone.
Even in the dark I know he is wearing a leather jacket over a dark turtleneck and khaki's. His shoes are patent leather and look expensive. I don't know how I know this. It's really too dark to see all this detail so quickly. I just know it's true somehow. Something about him seems oddly familiar but I can't place it.
"Looks like you had a real donnybrook hee'.", he squats down with a grunt and takes my face in his large hand. He examines my swollen left eye and broken nose. "He got ya pretty good, huh?" He turns and looks at the slumped over figure with the short sword sticking out of his neck.
"True da fuckin' neck, huh? You're one sick fuck, kid. I'll give ya dat."
His broad face has a smile on it that reveals a gold tooth in the corner . He has a receding hairline and I feel like I know him or at least I should but I still can't place him. My head pounds with each heart beat. I can feel my nose is broken and my left eye is nearly swollen shut. I look like I have been thru the ringer.
"I didn't do it", I say. My lips feel cracked and my voice sounds foreign to me.
"Sure kid. Whateva' you say". Da butla' did it with a candlestick in da' fuckin' pantry, right?", he raises an eyebrow and now his smile is more quizzical than amused, "What is dat? A fuckin' stick?"
He shifts over to Lou's body and fingers the blade sticking out of his neck. The man lets out a low whistle.
"You stuck him in da neck with a fuckin' stick?", he is chuckling now. "Your creative, kid. I'll give you dat."
I ignore his question and try to ask one of my own.
"Who….who are you".
"C'mon, kid. You know me.", he says. "I'm Giancomo. Giancomo Nicolazzo." He is looking at me like I should know this. He holds up both hands and curls them into the shape of guns. "You know. Jackie Two Guns."
Holy shit! I do know. Jackie Two Guns is the mafia hitman in the book Hitman Blues. The book itself wasn't the greatest read but the reason I remember him is in one scene Jackie has to get some information about a missing bag of cash from a prostitute. He gets the information he needs with little trouble. What happens next is truly disturbing. For no real reason Jackie brutally rapes then strangles the hooker. That scene was hard to forget. His character is a true sociopath. I have to say character because up until a few moments ago I never thought of him as real. What the hell is he doing here? Jackie is an assassin. The killing has already taken place. Why is he here now?
Jackie reads the comprehension on my face. "Hey, look at dat. Light dawns on marble head!"
"But…", I begin. "Your not…."
"Don't worry bout me, kid.", Jack says as he stands up and begins to look around. "You got bigger fish to fry from da looks of it".
None of this makes any sense. I put my aching head in my hands. I ask Jackie Two Guns the first question I can think of, "Where is Master Musashi?"
Jackie is behind the trees rooting around in the bushes.
"The gook? He cut out before I got heah. You know you keep some strange company, kid. Frankly, that guy gives me da creeps. It dose eyes, you know. They look right tru ya."
He finds what he's looking for in the under brush.
"Bingo".
Jackie Two Guns comes out from the bushes carrying what looks to be a long rolled up rug.
"Whats that" I ask?.
"It's a fuckin' steak dinner from Delmonico's. Whats it fuckin' look like? It's a rug you fuckin' mook!" Jackie is shaking his head at me. "You know they say kids these days are smarta' than in the past because of the intanet and shit but you", Jackie shakes his head at me, "I don't know ‘bout you kid. You seem a little….you know, I hate to say it…slow."
This is all moving too fast and I don't appreciate Jack calling me an idiot.
"I mean, where did it come from?", I ask.
"I don't know? China? The rug store? I don't give a fuck!", Jack says. "But what I do give a fuck about is you getting ya head outa' ya ass and helping me wrap this jamoke up in this thing. Think you can manage that, Captain Questions?".
Jackie Two Guns is starring at me like he wants to put two in the back of my head so I stop asking questions and move to help him.
Before we wrap Lou's body up in the rug Jackie digs into Lou's pockets and fishes out his truck keys. Once the body is wrapped up Jackie pulls out a cigarette and lights up. He doesn't offer me one. Somehow he knows I don't smoke or he doesn't care. Either way he stares off into the distance lost in thought. I am afraid to ask him any questions but I have to know what comes next.
"So, with all due respect, sir. What now?", I ask.
Jackie Two Guns squints at me real hard. My heart starts to beat faster and my swollen head rages with each heartbeat. Jackie scares the shit out of me. I have a bad feeling about why he showed up out of the blue. Just when I think Jackie is going to explode at me he turns and looks out towards the parking lot in the distance.
"What now, kid? I'll tell you what now. We're gonna load this sack o'shit in the back of his truck. Then you and I are gonna drive down to da' shore and dump him. I gotta a spot in mind. It's nice and quiet. No one will disturb us and with any luck his body won't be found for a while."
Jackie Two Guns takes another drag off his cigarette.
"Now I want you to tink long and hahd about the next question I am going to ask you, ok?", Jackie pauses to let his instructions sink in. "Does anybody know you came out heah wid him?"
"No", I answer, then the truth comes to me. "Wait, yes. Lucy was there today. It couldn't be helped. She heard me challenge Lou to a fight up here."
"Fuck", Jackie is shaking his head and looking at the ground now. His big paw massages his jaw line as his eyes meet mine. "Christ kid, you don't make it easy do you? I hoped this was gonna be an easy job but I guess not, huh?"
Now I know why he is here. This isn't a simple dump job. You don't bring a guy like Jackie Two Guns in to simply dispose of a body. You bring a guy like Jackie Two Guns in when you want to make someone pay.
"Well lets get dis shit cleared up first", he says indicating Lou's body. "Then we'll go pay Lucy a visit."
"No", I say. "She's got nothing to do with this. It's over."
"What did you just say?", Jackie reaches out and grabs me by the collar. I try to resist but he is bigger and stronger than me. He pulls me in close and I can smell the garlic on his breath.
"Listen up cocksuckah, cause I'm only gonna say dis once. That little slut is da whole reason ya in dis fix right now, you got that? If it wasn't for that bimbo shakin' her tits all over town you wouldn't be facing a murda' charge. Now you want me to help you get outa' this jam or not?".
"But….I loved her….I….I still do", I plead.
Jackie tosses me to the ground in disgust.
"Oh, boo hoo, cry me a rivah kid."
He is towering over me.
"'I loved hue'. Do you hear yourself? Do you fuckin' hear how pathetic you sound? Are you gonna cry to your cellmate in Ceda' Junction like this? And are you gonna do it before or afta' he fucks you in the ass? I'm jus wondrin'. Cause that's where your gonna end up. That's right where your gonna end up if you don't get ova' huh' and see the situation for what it is. She's da only one who can link you to dis. You got that, kid? Da' only one. Hey kid, let me ask you a question. Why did you bring me heah?"
"What? I never…"
"Yes you did."
"I never brought you here!", I shout. My head is pounding.
Now Jackie is wagging his finger in my face.
"Yes you did. Yes you did", he is smiling again as he says this. "You brought me heah to make dat bitch pay for what she did to ya'. Just like ya' brought da' slant in to help you with huh muscle. Now you can tell yourself you didn't. Whateva' helps you sleep at night. But we both know you did. "
"No……".
Tears are streaming down my face. My head feels like a jackhammer is firing away inside it. Every heart beat brings with it another excrutiating thud of pain. This can't be real. I must be losing my mind. Or I'm still on the bathroom floor in my parents house. That's it. I passed out while puking on the bathroom floor and all of this is just some fucked up dream my jealous mind concocted. It's not real. I close my eyes and try to wish it away. This is met with a rough slap from Jackie's calloused hand. Why do all these guys hit me?
"No passing out on me now, kid. We got alotta work to do heah."
I feel Jackie's hand on my collar and he lifts me up to my feet. I stagger dreamily and he holds me up with one hand while he brushes me off with the other. He holds me away from him to admire his work.
"Dere. Good as new."
Jackie then wraps both hands around the back of my neck and pulls me in close so that the tops of our heads are touching.
"No loose ends, Charlie. You got me kid? I know you been tru a lot tonight before I got heah. But you see this tru to the end. Gabeche?"
I don't answer him right away so he shakes me.
"You understan', Charlie?".
"…..yes", I answer.
The rest of the night seems like a dream. I am vaguely aware of loading Lou's body into the back of his truck. Jackie drives and I fall back and forth into fitful sleep. The rest of it comes and goes from memory. I think we dumped the body like he said at the shore. I remember the smell of salt air and the call of seagulls I think we disturbed. Not really sure. I'm so tired.
The next time I definitively come to is in Lucy's kitchen. I am not sure how we got here but both Jackie and I are standing in her mother's kitchen. I say her mother's because Lucy's parents are divorced. She lives with her mom and her mom goes to work early in the morning as I remember so Jackie and I are alone in the kitchen. Lucy is running around upstairs like she is getting ready. For what I don't know. I hear her yell downstairs.
"Give me two more minutes, Louie. "
I look out the kitchen window and see Lou's truck parked in the driveway. Did we take it here? We must have. Must have pulled up in it and Lucy thought it was Lou coming to pick her up for work today. We must have let ourselves in. Maybe the door was unlocked since she was expecting him. Maybe we used the key under the rock by the mailbox. Again I can't say cause it feels like I have been sleep walking since Master Musashi killed Lou.
Jackie Two Guns puts his big hand on my shoulder and leans in close to whisper in my ear.
"When da bitch comes downstahs you start talking to huh. Wait til she gets neah da kitchen. I'm gonna circle around behind huh. She will nevah see it comin'.", he holds up a pair of handcuffs. "Den we party!".
Jackie has a wide grin on his face when he says this. The handcuffs he is holding look like the pair my Uncle gave me when he retired from the Department of Corrections. My Uncle didn't want them anymore and I thought they were wicked cool. How Jackie got a hold of them I will never know.
I know what Jackie Two Guns idea of partying is and I can't let this happen to Lucy. Yes, she may be the root of this whole thing but I can't let Jackie get his hands on her. She doesn't deserve that. No one does.
I hear Lucy bouncing down the stairs and rounding the corner heading towards us. Jackie begins to circle around thru the dining room. He holds his index finger up to his lips in the universal symbol to keep quiet. If I am going to do something it has to be now. This may be the only chance she has.
Lucy starts talking as she reaches the bottom of the stairs and rounds in my direction. She still can't see me waiting in the kitchen.
"I was worried when you didn't answer your pho…".
"LUCY RUN! GET OUT NOW!"
There is hesitation on her side of the wall. I start to move in that direction and never see Jackie Two Guns coming for me. I am briefly aware of a dark blur in my field of vision and then everything goes black.
I'm on the kitchen floor when I come to. My legs sprawled out before me and my head wedged between my shoulder and a cabinet door below the sink. My head is on fire! Every heart beat reverberates thru my skull in a rush of pain. My left eye is swollen shut. Jackie must have hit me on that side. There is some blood drying over my left temple. I must be a frightful sight. But that doesn't matter right now. I have to get to Lucy before…
With a herculean effort I try to lift myself off the floor. No good. I slump back down with the kitchen cabinet to my back. My whole world shifts and sways and a feeling of naseua overtakes me. I roll to my side and puke up some stomach acid. Nothing much there. When was the last time I ate? The stomach acid burns at the back of my throat. I roll over on all fours and just hang in that position for a minute. Once the room stops swaying I crawl over to the kitchen table and pull myself into a sitting position at the table. My world is still swaying but I feel a little better and am getting my bearings. I have my elbow on the table supporting my throbbing head when I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Heavy footsteps. I don't have to see to know whose they are. Jackie comes into the kitchen and sits down opposite me. He is breathing heavy from exertion. I don't look at him. I don't want to. Somehow I know what he has done and I know that it is awful. Worse than awful.
"You know, I did that for your own good, kid".
He sounds contrite. Almost apologetic. Maybe Jackie has a conscious after all.
"You were gonna fuck everything up dere. I can't let dat happen. Remembah? No loose ends."
I am still looking down with my head in my hand when I ask him, "What…what did you do?"
"Whattya mean what did I do?", Jackie answers. "I'd like to tink we are in dis ting togetha, Charlie. Dis ain't no one man operation , you know".
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?", my head feels like it's gonna explode and I instantly regret shouting at him but I have to know. I raise my head out of my hand and look at him. Jackie is in his undershirt and he is smirking at me.
"You know exactly what we did, Charlie".
I close my eyes and for a moment I have a glimpse of Lucy's bedroom. The sheets have been ripped back and she is lying face down. She is motionless. A pillow has been placed over the back of her head. The pillow has been placed there to hide the blood underneath. One of her wrists is handcuffed to the bedpost. Her body is naked and there is more blood leaking from her privates. And some other fluid. It's not blood. I shake my head because I know this will bring a wave of pain that will wash away this image. I don't ask myself why I see what I see. Some questions are better left unanswered.
"…you….you… didn't have to do it like that..."
"Yeah kid. Yeah we did. Dat bitch got what was comin' to huh. What did I say bout loose ends. No loose ends! What we gotta do now is go out to da garage and find any gas cans they have. If we can't find any den we can always siffon da gas outta da truck. Then we'll dowse the house wid da gas and hightail it….."
"YOU FUCKING KILLED HER!".
"Yeah kid. We fuckin' killed her. Now…"
"NO!", I scream. "YOU fucking killed her! And you raped her first?!? What kind of a sick fuck does that?"
"Charlie, can we tawk bout dis lata'? Like not in da back of a cop cruisah? If we're gonna get out of dis thing I need you to help me right now with the gasoline.."
"FUCK THE GAS AND FUCK YOU!".
I'm shaking uncontrollably which doesn't help my aching head but I can't stop it. My whole world seems violently out of focus. This can't be real. None of it. I am so tired. I just want it to end. Please make it end.
"What are you gonna do, kid? You gonna sit heah an' wait fe da cops? Why don't you callem ? Dat's right, callem right fuckin' now. Explain to dem how you are innocent. It was the crazy Chinaman and the Mafia Hitman who set you up. You know what they'll do don't you? They ‘ll call you crazy and lock you away for da rest of your life. Now de only way you're getting' outta this if you do as I say when I say. Gabeche?"
My head hurts so bad I think I might pass out.
"Is this real? Is any of this fucking real?"
"Wha..?".
Every fiber of my being tells me to stop asking questions but I can't. I have to know. This is my moment of reckoning.
"Are you real?", I ask Jackie. "Or am I fucking crazy! Did I really do all this myself and just imagine you so I could cope with it? Why can I close my eyes and see Lucy's body? How is that possible? I shouldn't be able to just do that Jackie! It's not normal!"
My question has thrown him. Jackie pauses for a moment and runs his hand threw his thinning hair before he answers.
"Let me answah youh question wid anoda question. What did da five fingahs say to da face?"
I should see this coming a mile a way but I am not myself today. Understatement of the year. Besides, Jackie doesn't really wait long enough for me to answer. He brings his hand up from beneath the table so I don't see it until it's too late. The next thing I know I am back on the floor looking up at him from my good eye.
"Slap! Get it? Da five fingahs said slap!", His face is smiling but his eyes are cold as stone.
"Can't believe you actually fell fo' dat one".
Fuck this! Jackie just raped and murdered my girlfriend….ex-girlfriend, whatever and now he is slapping me around? Fuck him. As quickly as I can muster (which isn't really all that quick in my condition) I hobble up off the floor and launch myself at Jackie. It's a clumsy attempt at best. Jackie knocks me aside and jumps on top of me. I think he is going to hit me again but I don't care anymore. I reach for one of his guns in his shoulder holster but he bats my hand away. Instead he pulls the gun out and points the barrel right to my head.
"You wanna know wats fuckin' real? Dis is fuckin' real, cupcake!"
I can feel the cold steel of the barrel up against my forehead. I can feel the gun making an indent in my skin that will reveal a red circle after Jackie pulls it away. But if I look closely I can see this gun resembles my father's Walther PPK and not one of the twin Barretta's that Jackie is so well known for carrying. I don't want to think anymore. I grab at the gun with both hands.
"Don' fuck wid me kid! I'll fuckin' do you right heah with da bitch! Make it look like one a dem murda suicides!"
And it hits me. This is exactly what has to happen. I'm not getting away with this. How long before the cops come looking for me? An hour? Two tops? I was seen arguing with my ex girlfriends new boyfriend before he went missing. Then she mysteriously ends up dying in a house fire like Jackie wants to set up? This isn't going to work. It never was. This is my way out. This is my only way out.
"Do it Jackie", for the second time today my voice sounds foreign to me. This must be what an out of body experience feels like.
Jackie's sneer turns to a frown. He knows I'm right. I'm not cut out for a life behind bars. And I can't face my family after this. Her family. None of it. This is my escape hatch and I'm climbing thru.
"You sure bout' dis kid?"
"FUCK YOU JACKIE!"
"Hoo! Careful who you're telling to go fuck themselves, kid!"
"Or what? You're gonna shoot me? Cause that's what I want you to do, Jackie. I want you to put an end to this once and for all. We both know I can't live with this. Can't live with what you've done. What you and Master Musashi have done."
"What we've done? What the fuck, kid? You know your just as guilty as we are, right? None of this happens widout you. You get that right? You invited us in. You wanted us heah' to help you. You couldn't do dis' alone and if you look real deep inside you you'll see this is exactly what you wanted."
"NO! NO I DIDN'T WANT THIS!.....not this".
I am gripping the gun hard against my forehead. Not trying to push it away but pulling it into me. Or am I? Maybe to a fly on the wall I am holding it up against my forehead with one hand while gripping it with the other. Maybe I am lying on the floor by myself with no one straddling my chest. Maybe I am arguing with myself in two very distinct voices. One which is my own and another which sounds like a street tough from Jersey City? And maybe if I really think about it the same thing happened last night in the field. Maybe instead of Master Musashi standing by offering his advice and stories I was alone absentmindedly sharpening a stick until the point was lethally sharp. And maybe I had the stick on me the whole time and when Lou rolled off of me I was able to pull it out and stab him thru the neck with it. Maybe this is all bullshit that my mind has concocted to protect itself from the truth. But it all feels so real. My head hurts so bad and I just want it to stop. Have to make it stop.
"Just do it, Jackie. We both know that I'm not getting away with this. And I'm not cut out to spend the rest of my life in prison. Please Jackie. Just do it."
"Okay kid. You asked for it."
I pull my hands away from the gun and close my eyes. Jackie Two Guns levels the weapon to the front of my skull. I feel the pressure of the weapon but I don't open my eyes. I don't want to see. I don't want anything anymore except peace. Soon it will all be over. I can take comfort in this. God help me. Damn you, Lucy.
"Any last words, kid?", Jackie asks me.
I just shake my head no.
"Don't move around too much, kid. I want dis to be clean."
I can feel tears streaming down my face. I hear a click and there is a flash of brilliant white light behind my eyeballs. Then everything goes black. When I open my eyes again I am back on the docks. It's night and I can smell the sweet tang of marijuana on the air. From the radio I can hear the Goo Goo Dolls going on about Iris. My legs dangle over the dock into the cool water. Lucy is sitting next to me telling me about her plans for college. Where she wants to go and what she wants to study. I can hear Mark and Denny behind me continuing their shark debate with the new group. Denny's voice rises in protest as one of the newcomers introduces the notion of a Polar Bear.
I don't care. I only have eyes for Lucy. Her blue eyes. Her slightly upturned nose. Her full lips. Her dirty blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. I can't take my eyes off her. She puts her hand out and softly caresses my cheek. I have a vague notion of being battered and broken. It doesn't matter though. As long as I am with Lucy I am whole again. She smiles at me. That beautiful smile that I would do anything for. Sail the seven seas. Climb the highest heights. Kill for. A troubling thought tries to bubble to the surface of my mind but I push it down. I don't want to think. I just want to be. With Lucy. I want this moment to go on forever. And who knows? Maybe it will….
THE WRECKING CREW
The front door to Lucy's house opens. Three men walk in. They make their way to the kitchen. One is a robed Japanese samurai with double swords protruding from his waist band. Another is an enormous black man wearing dark pants. His torso is naked and his freakishly large musculature is adorned in tribal tattoos. His face is painted red and his hair is cut in a Mohawk painted green. The third is a white man. He has a scholarly appearance in his conservative dark suit. He wears bifocals that ride the tip of his long nose and his beard is neatly trimmed. . A top hat nestled over his thinning hair completes his appearance. In his right hand he holds a silver and black walking cane. This remarkable trio makes it's way to the kitchen where Jackie Two Guns is standing by the sink lost in thought.
Before anyone can speak the large black man begins berating Jackie.
"Yo! What the fuck?! You just shoot lil' bro like that? Don't even give a nigga' a chance? "
He turns to the scholar and asks, "Yo', dis nigga be trippin' Doc. I told you not to send dis cat.", he hooks a thumb in Jackie Two Guns direction.
"Whadafuck you jus call me?"
Jackie Two Guns pushes off the sink and explodes at the large black man. With one hand Jackie grabs him by the throat while pulling a pistol from his shoulder holster with the other. Their momentum carries them into the refrigerator. It bangs loudly jostling it's contents. Jackie has meant to put the gun to the other mans head but the large black man has intercepted this move with his own hand. The two struggle over the direction the gun is pointing. Realizing that the large black man will soon gain control of his weapon Jackie headbutts him in the face. This causes the man to momentarily release his grip on Jackie's hand and Jackie puts the weapon right up against the man's temple. Jackie is snarling as spittle flies from his mouth.
"Listen up, shine. I'll fuckin' do you too. How you like dat? I'll do ya right here in the bitch's kitchen. You can go join lovaboy ova dere.", keeping his eyes on the man Jackie nods his head towards Charlie's body on the floor.
"Gentlemen, please.", the Doctor now. "Can we have some semblance of order while we discuss our next move."
Both men are breathing hard and staring daggers at each other from inches apart. The doctor looks over to the samurai and gives him the high sign. Quick as a snake the samurai draws both his blades and stops just short of each man's throat. Both men have to step back in order to releave the cutting pressure of the weapons. Jackie backs off reluctantly .
"Some day, nigga. Doc's not gonna be here to save your ass. Den it's lights out fo you."
"Fucking rascist. You hear that shit?", Mohawk is looking in the doctor's direction. Blood runs freely from his nose dripping to the floor. "Lincoln freed the slaves, asshole.", this is intended for Jackie.
"Oh yeah? Next time you're on a job with the old man you ask him if he meant to spring all you monkeys from your cages? Cause I'm bettin' it was just an honest mistake. A, whattaya call it? Collateral damage an shit. Man was tryin' to win a war. He needed everyone on board. Even a tree fifths of a man.", Jackie is looking right at Mohawk and smiling. "Dats right spook. I'm talkin' bout your kind.", Jackie rolls his head and snaps his fingers while saying, "Oh no he di int!"
"Fucking cracker!", Mohawk moves to rush Jackie this time but Master Musashi has lifted the blade of his kitana up to block Mohawks path. This makes Mohawk hesitate as the tip of the blade wavers at his eye level.
The doctor raises his voice, "Gentlemen please! We have more pressing matters at the moment."
The doctor moves to Charlie's body and puts his fingers to the young man's neck feeling for a pulse. After a moment he shakes his head in disgust and sits down at the kitchen table.
"It would appear that our host still clings to life no matter how tenous that hold is.", the doctor says.
Jackie Two Guns turns to the doctor in surprise, "Whadda fuck? I shot him in da fuckin' head. He ain't dead yet?". Jackie goes to pull his gun out again. "I'll take care of it".
"That is quite enough, Mr. Nicolazzo. Besides, it won't be necessary. The first shot was fatal. It will only be a matter of time now."
From his coat pocket the doctor removes a packet of envelopes and places them on the table.
"It would seem we have some time to kill. No pun intended, gentlemen.", a cold smile spreads across the doctors face. "In the mean time I have your next assignments here", he pats the envelopes with a hand. "It would appear that we have come to the point to wrap matters up and proceed to our next assignments", with this he taps the envelopes on the table.
"And why are we at this point?", questions Mohawk. "Because THIS PIECE OF SHIT (here he pauses to emphasize each syllable while pointing at Jackie) can't stick to the script!"
Jackie has gone to the fridge and removed a beer. He twists the top off and takes a slug before answering.
"You know Boogeyman, I've had about enough of you. You tink your such a big shot movie star? Dat you tink your some badass cause you got a couple sequels an shit? Well I'm tellin' you, you ain't! Besides, have you eva heard of improvisation? Tinkin on the spot? Every great artist does it!"
"Oh, so now you are a great artist?", Boogeyman is exasperated and throws his hands up in the air while blood continues to drip from his nose. . "Fucking her in the ass and then shooting her in the back of the head? That's art? You sick fuck! You hear this shit Moriarty?".
Professor Moriarty attempts to get the group back on track, " Gentlemen please! Master Musashi and I do not want to spend the rest of the morning listening to you two scoundrels go back and forth. Can we please get back on task?".
But Jackie won't drop it.
"And how bout da chink ova dere", he says indicating Musashi. "He gets to go first and what does he do? First interaction wid' da' kid and he's quoting from da movie True Romance. Nice play, Shakespeare. It's a wonda the kid didn't smell a rat. How bout you try an be a little more original next time, huh?'
Master Musashi says nothing but stares at Jackie. Jackie averts his eyes and takes another swig of his beer.
"You know the rules, Mr. Nicolazzo", says Professor Moriarty. "We can access our hosts recent memories for material if it promotes our cause. Mr. Simpson had recently watched that movie and the dialogue there in did help to further the situation in our favor."
"True Romance? Good fucking movie", says Boogeyman as he nods his head in agreement He walks over to the sink and grabs a paper towel to help stem the tide of his bleeding face.
"Be that as it may, gentlemen. I have your next assignments here", again indicating the envelopes sprawled out on the kitchen table. "Once Mr. Nicolazzo cleans up his situation here I can hand these out and we can be on our way".
"First off Doc, my name is Jackie Two Guns. Cause I put two guns to da back of your head and den dats all she wrote, got it? And second, why the fuck am I takin orders from a Mick bastard like you? You want dis shit cleaned up? Den get your donkey ass to stepin an do it your self".
Jackie has taken a couple of steps towards Professor Moriarty at the table. He puts both hands down on the table in front of the doctor and is looming over him. The doctor lets out a silent sigh then quickly extends his right hand towards Jackies face. A .22 Colt revolver shifts from the doctors sleeve to his hand in less than a second. Jackie is starring down the barrel of this tiny weapon.
"That is quite enough, Mr. Nicolazzo! Now if you would be so kind as to back up and shut your fucking mouth we can proceed."
Jackie shakes his head and mutters, "fuckin' pop gun", under his breath as he moves back to the sink and takes another swig from his beer.
Once Jackie has moved back Professor Moriarty replaces the weapon up his sleeve and adjusts his tie.
"My apologies gentlemen for cursing. One should control his language and not the other way around.", with a twinkle in his eye he adds, "I hope I haven't offended anyones sensibilities?"
"Fuck no", says Boogeyman.
Master Musashi simply shrugs while keeping a watchful eye on Jackie Two Guns.
"Good. Now then, shall we proceed?", Professor Moriarty begins to hand out the envelopes. Each one is elaborately adorned with the owners name in calligraphy pen. "Here are the locations of your next manifestations, gentlemen. As you can see I haven't opened your envelopes but I am aware of your next assignments if you would care to hear?"
Boogeyman takes his and says, "Just as long as I'm not paired with this rascist mother fucker again", indicating Jackie.
Jackie tips his beer towards the Boogeyman and says, "Luv you to, big guy".
Once the envelopes have been handed out Professor Moriarty tells each his next assignment.
"Mr. Nicolazzo", and he smiles at Jackie as he says his Christian name, "you are going to a young man outside of Seattle. He has recently broken up with his fiancée and is quite distraught. The young man in question has a history of concussions from playing American footballwhile growing up. Honestly, I don't see what your lot gets from that game."
"Den I'll be seein' you shitbirds lata'", Jackie says as he heads for the hallway and the front door beyond it.
Professor Moriarty sticks his cane out and trips Jackie. He falls hard to the floor. Jackie rolls to his right and is already reaching for his holstered guns when the point of Master Musashi's kitana comes to rest at his throat just above the breastplate. Everything stops for a moment. Jackie is breathing hard and seriously contemplating wether to pull his guns despite the blade at his throat.
"That is quite enough, Mr. Nicolazzo!", says Professor Moriarty. "I can't say I will miss working with you, sir. And besides, you know the rules. We have to be consistent with the situation. When I am done with the assignments you WILL place your weapons around the body in a manner suggesting suicide. We don't want to arouse suspicions. God knows we don't want another situation like the Kurt Cobain suicide! Messy affair that was. There are still those that question it's validity?
The Boogeyman nods his head in agreement as Professor Moriarty returns to the assignments.
"Boogeyman. It seems your services are wanted in the greater Buffalo area. There is a young lady who is quite distraught over her recent break up with a longtime boyfriend."
"Fucking Buffalo", Boogeyman says as he kicks the floor.
"Oh no", says Jackie. "I hear Buffalo is very nice dis time of year", he says while laughing.
"It seems she is quite familiar with your work as she has seen all three of your movies multiple times. She has a particular interest in your second movie where I believe you skewered a cheating boyfriend from the end of a broomstick? Does this sound familiar?", asks Professor Moriarty.
This perks Boogeyman up.
"That was a scene, man. You want to talk about art, asshole (and Boogeyman shoots a glance in Jackie's direction)? That was art. Finally. A girl who appreciates true talent."
Jackie shrugs his shoulders and says, "To each his own. You say potato an I say melodramatic nigga".
The doctor raises his voice and cuts in before the two can get after each other again.
"It appears the good master and myself will be teaming yet again to help a university professor in Kentucky cope with his recently dissolved marriage.", Professor Moriarty inclines his head towards Master Musashi. Musashi simply nods back.
"Well, Mr. Nicolazzo. It seems you have some work ahead of you. Be so kind as to leave the premises as you found them this morning when you entered."
Professor Moriarty gets up from the table and walks over to the Boogeyman. He shakes his burly hand.
"Boogeyman, it was a pleasure working with you, sir. I only wish I had the opportunity to see you in action.", the Professor leans in and says, "I hear you are quite brutal."
Boogeyman returns his handshake and says, "Maybe next time, bro".
Professor Moriarty nods his head in agreement.
"I would like that."
The doctor turns to Master Musashi and says, "Shall we be off, sir?"
Master Musashi grunts his agreement. The three begin to exit the kitchen when Jackie speaks.
"Doc? Can I have a minute?"
Professor Moriarty raises an eyebrow while he contemplates Jackie's request. After a moment he decides to grant it.
"Gentlemen, please be so kind as to wait outside for a moment."
The other two file out of the kitchen leaving Professor Moriarty and Jackie Two Guns alone.
"What is it, Mr. Nicolazzo? And please be quick about it as I hate to arrive late for an assignment", the doctor says as he takes out his pocket watch from his vest and checks it.
"Yeah. Uhh, well dere was somethin' the kid asked me dats been botherin' me."
Professor Moriarty is holding his pocket watch up to his ear as if checking to make sure it is still ticking.
"Do be quick about it, sir!"
"Yeah, well da kid asked me if I was real. An' I didn' know whadda say so I socked him one. You know, to trow him off."
"You are referring to a pattern interrupt."
"Yeah, onna dem!", Jackie is smiling and pointing at Professor Moriarty.
"This is going to take more than a minute, Mr. Nicolazzo. Would you be so kind as to go outside and tell our colleagues to proceed ahead without us."
Professor Moriarty begins to fill the coffee pot on the counter with water. Jackie goes to the front door and opens it. Both Boogeyman and Master Musashi are standing by the pickup truck. They look up as the front door opens.
Jackie yells, "Scram!" as he slams the front door shut. From outside he can hear a muffled, "Muthafucka", from the Boogeyman.
As Jackie comes back into the kitchen smiling Professor Moriarty has a cup of coffee in hand and is sitting at the kitchen table. He motions for Jackie Two Guns to sit opposite him. For once Jackie complies without a word. Professor Moriarty pulls out a cigarette and lights up. He offers Jackie one but Jackie refuses.
"You are new to this game, are you not, Mr. Nicolazzo?".
Jackie is leaning forward in his chair.
"Yeah".
"Well sir, rest assured you are not the first to questions one's existence. There are several trains of thought on the subject. May I explain?', Professor Moriarty asks.
"Yeah".
"Very good. Well the first idea is that we are the lost souls of man and that this", Professor Moriarty gestures around the room with his hand, "is purgatory. And it is here that our souls will be held in judgement."
Jackie thinks about this for a moment.
"You believe dat shit, doc?'.
"No, Mr. Nicolazzo. I do not believe that theory but I have to present it as an possible explanation. Before I continue let me ask you, sir. What makes you ask this?"
"Doc, da last ting I remembah is doin a job fa' da Anunziata family up in Newark an' den wham!", Jackie pounds his fist. "I'm in dat field wid twinkle toes ova heah", he motions to Charlie's body on the floor. "I can't remembah shit, doc. Nuttin' bout a wife or kids or even my childhood. Nuttin."
"You do realize that we are not real, Mr. Nicolazzo? Well, let me clarify that statement. We are not real in the sense that these people are real. We are creations of literature and movies and it is from these media that we are born."
"Yeah, sure. I git dat doc."
"Very good. Do you believe in the power of thoughts, Mr. Nicolazzo?"
"Huh?"
"The power of thoughts, sir. You see there are some people that believe every thought has energy behind it. And if a person were to put enough energy into a thought that it could manifest itself into reality. Perhaps that's what we are? The manifestations of a jealous violent mind that brings us to bear. From these jealous and violent minds is borne the agents of chaos, Mr. Nicolazzo.", here Professor Moriarty pauses for a moment. "You and I, sir. And so as long as there is fear and jealousy and hatred in the hearts and minds of mankind we can live on. Manifesting from one malevolent mind to another wreaking havoc wherever we are summoned. Traveling a super highway of hatred from one warped mind to another. As long as the individual in question can summon enough violent intention into their thoughts then sir ", and here once again Professor Moriarty pauses for dramatic effect, "you and I and those like us can come forward and do what we do best."
Jackie pauses for a moment to think about this.
"Yeah, ok", Jackie is nodding his head in agreement. "Dat seems ta make sense."
"Ah, but if that were only true, Mr. Nicolazzo", says Professor Moriarty.
"Whaddya mean, doc?"
"When you asked me the question a few moments ago I said there were several theories of existence. I have given you two so far. There is a third."
Professor Moriarty leans back in his chair and takes a drag off his cigarette. He holds the smoke for a moment before exhaling thru his nose. Jackie is leaning so far forward in his chair that he is in danger of falling over.
With both hands open he asks,"You gonna tell me doc or do I gotta guess?".
The doctor chuckles at Jackie's eagerness.
"The third theory of our existence is that there is no telepathic super highway of malevolence that we travel on. That we cannot jump from one mind to another but are tied to one man. That man", Professor Moriarty points to Charlie laying on the floor in a pool of his own blood.
"But whaddabout de envelopes in youh pocket? Whattabout Buffalo and Kentucky and all our future assignments?"
"Merely a figment of Mr. Simpson's soon to expire imagination. As long as his heart beats and his mind still works on some level, then his subconscious can keep us alive."
"But if dat's true, Doc. Won' we jus disappeah when ole lova boy ova heah kicks it?"
"That is a distinct possibility, Mr. Nicolazzo. Now do you understand why the Boogeyman and Master Musashi to a lesser extent were so disappointed in your performance here this morning?"
Jackie leans back in his chair and considers this.
"But we donnow, right? It could be da second one you wuh talkin bout, right?".
"Yes it could, Mr. Nicolazzo. As well as the first theory regarding purgatory…"
Jackie interrupts, "Yeah, I don believe all dat shit about heaven and hell, doc. I tink it's da second one."
"Perhaps.", Doctor Moriarty takes another drag off his cigarette.
"So how do we know which one it is, doc?"
"I suppose we will just have to sit here and see what happens when Mr. Simpson expires. Either you will be continueing on to the greater Seattle area or….?"
"Or what, doc?"
"Or we will simply disappear like a candle being blown out in the wind. Only time will tell, Mr. Nicolazzo."
Doctor Moriarty leans back in his chair and takes a sip of coffee. Jackie Two Guns lets air slowly out thru his teeth as he puts both hands behind his head. Blood seeps slowly from Charlies head wound. His breathing is barely audible. The kitchen clock ticks away each passing moment.







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